My supervisor confessed to abuse of power and sexual predation; he advanced — and I changed careers

Uncategorized Nov 20, 2020

When faced with extraordinary evidence pointing towards an uncomfortable truth, my former employer responded very strangely.

“I had no idea how persistent his abuse was to have dampened your spirits so much,” the general manager replied to an email about my supervisor’s behavior. “I've spoken with [the senior staff] and they all agree with your assessment of [the supervisor’s] behavior towards you. I feel embarrassingly oblivious about this, but more importantly like we (as a whole, as your friends) didn't do enough to stop it from happening.”

At the time of this exchange, I was 23 and pursuing my dream of being a guide and outdoor educator at a rafting company on the American River in California. My supervisor, however, had turned this dream into a traumatic and disorienting nightmare. In his own words:

“[...] For a period of 4 months in 2012, I used [an employee] for sex, and treated her terribly [...] Now I’m going to be perfectly...

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Why this could be the right time to transform skills into business success

Uncategorized Oct 05, 2020

By Vanessa Holwell

2020 is the year of change. While some of that change has been stressful and impossible to control, you can still maintain control over so many of your career choices. So if you're thinking of making some changes in your career, this could be the year you really define yourself and step into your power. Deb and Dignity Together can help you manage this transition, but the resources below can also help you polish your skills and use them to find success in business.


Now Is The Perfect Time To Pursue A Degree
Remote work and online classes could provide opportunities to further your education.
Business degrees are a top choice for entrepreneurs.
You could earn a business degree online from WGU.
Which will open you up to endless career possibilities.
Or you could advance in your current field with a degree.

Then You Can Look for Remote Work Opportunities
With more companies moving to remote work, you can pursue even more job openings.
There are over 100 companies...

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Study finds working conditions are more grim than experts expected

Uncategorized Sep 29, 2020

Through their in-depth American Working Conditions Survey (AWCS) of 3,066 U.S. workers, Rand Corp., Harvard Medical School, and the University of California, Los Angeles found that "the American workplace is very physically and emotionally taxing," CBS reports.

Before you say "I could've told you that," let's see how bad it really is:

  • 1 in 5: the number who say they face "a hostile or threatening environment at work, which can include sexual harassment and bullying."
  • 1 in 2: the number who say they face "unpleasant and potentially hazardous" conditions.
  • 3 in 4: the number who say they "spend at least a fourth of their time on the job in 'intense or repetitive physical' labor."
  • 4 in 5: the number who say they're required to be present at work rather than telecommute.
  • 2 in 5: the number who say "their jobs offer good prospects for advancement. And the older they get, the less optimistic they become."
  • 1 in 2: the number who say they "work on their own time to meet the...
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How workplace abuse harms workers

Uncategorized Sep 28, 2020

Workplace abuse results in mental, physical, social, and financial harm.

Mental

Abuse is violence. It's psychological torture that takes a toll on mental health, including self-esteem, self-worth, and resilience. The longer the abuse, the bigger the impact, leading to physical symptoms.

Physical

Stress is a natural response to abuse and manifests itself through the mind-body connection. It may cloud judgment and lead to such issues as anxiety, depression, heart disease, digestive issues, post-traumatic stress disorder, and suicidal ideation.

 

Social

We're built for connection with each other, but abuse removes that connection by isolating us. Isolation is especially common with mobbing, group abuse aimed to break down the target when abusers manipulate other employees or other employees fear becoming the next target. Bystanders may also suffer when they witness abuse but feel unable to help the target. Friends and family, including spouses, generally tire...

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Another suicide from workplace abuse

Uncategorized Sep 24, 2020

Graham Gentles was driven to suicide after a walk of shame.

He was a 22-year-old in Pasadena who died from suicide on July 18, 2014, after Target store management allegedly accused him of stealing, handcuffed him, and paraded him through the store in front of both customers and coworkers.

Gentles jumped to his death from the top of a hotel just three days later.

During the abusive humiliation and shame tactic, it is alleged that "police forcefully grabbed him, emptied his pockets, and pulled his hat off," explains ABC7. Meanwhile, a shocked and confused Gentles had no idea why police were arresting him. Police took Gentles into custody, released him the same day, and never charged him. Gentles told his mother he never stole anything.

Allegedly, an argument between Gentles and a coworker at a bar outside of work hours may have prompted the incident. The coworker made the allegations of theft after the argument.

Other Target employees suspected of stealing report a similar "walk...

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You are a badass

Uncategorized Sep 22, 2020

Changing your life means figuring out what self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors you have and creating a life you love. In the #1 New York Times Bestseller You Are A Badass, Life Coach Jen Sincero takes us on a journey through how to get rid of the garbage and how to say yes to the good life.

At the end of the day, ...it's about you believing you're worthy of being loved and seen for who you really are.

Sincero explains:

When we agree to let ourselves down in favor of supporting the bad behavior of others, it often stems from the same impulse: We're unwilling to make other people more uncomfortable than they just made us. Not terribly studly in the old self-love department, is it? By making them uncomfortable I mean declining to participate in their drama, by the way, not by being equally abusive back.

These insights don't mean your reaction is to blame for your situation. Instead, you can make changes to get the sludge out of your life — for good.

Get the book...

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Three signs your career isn't right for you

Uncategorized Sep 22, 2020

By Artur Meyster

When it comes to landing a career, everybody hopes to find an option that can make them feel fulfilled and happy whenever they drive into work. For the most part, however, the careers people end up in are not what they envisioned, and this can be a disheartening experience.

You may never find a career that fills your heart with passion, but that doesn’t mean you have to settle for a path that brings you no joy or fulfillment whatsoever. It is important to stay vigilant to the signs that your career is not right for you, otherwise, you risk feeling more stressed and going through years of boredom brought on by a bad career match. 

#1 Money Is Your Motivating Factor

There’s nothing wrong with working to get a fair paycheck. Even people whose job is their passion need a paycheck to survive. However, if money is the only reason you drive to work in the morning, then it is best to look for another career. 

If money is truly an important factor in a...

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The financial costs of workplace abuse to businesses and targets

Uncategorized Sep 18, 2020

Workplace abuse leads to decreased productivity, lower morale, increased absenteeism, and turnover (the bad kind — not the kind that results from not needing roles anymore). Imagine burning a big old pile of money. That's the equivalent of keeping an abuser on staff. Let's look at some of the hidden and not-so-hidden costs of keeping an abuser on staff:

Turnover. Examples: announcing the job opening, recruiting fees, interviewing time, and training time.
Lost opportunity. Examples: losing clients and the revenue associated with them and losing potential accounts from the work of competent employees.
Absenteeism. Cost: paid time off (sick leave andvacation)
Presenteeism (being at work but disengaged while there). Cost: lost productivity from that employee and any employee disengagement rubs off on. 
Legal defense. Regardless of there not being laws with teeth on the books protecting targets from workplace abuse, targets can still sue. And...

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Study links workplace abuse to one effect that costs companies billions

Uncategorized Sep 17, 2020

In a 2001 study, Researcher Judith Richman linked workplace harassment to drinking behaviors. In a multi-wave panel study at an urban university, targets who had more than two years of abuse had a stronger connection to drinking problems.

"These drinking behaviors reflect an attempt by targets to deal with the psychological stress," say Loraleigh Keashly and Joel H. Neuman in their Employee Rights and Employee Policy Journal article. "Should such drinking continue, job performance and productivity is likely to suffer. For example, some research suggests that sixty billion dollars is lost in annual productivity as a result of alcohol abuse."

The link isn't shocking. What's shocking is the failure of management to address root cause: workplace abuse. It's far easier to blame a target for a drinking problem than a higher level employee for causing the unnecessary stress in the first place. That negligence to address the actual problem is linked to financial loss.

So why aren't...

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Why you're a target of workplace abuse

Uncategorized Sep 15, 2020

Don't worry - I'm not about to blame you for being a target of workplace abuse. Just the opposite. It's narcissism that's the root of why abusers abuse. And when those in power operate on jealousy and insecurity, their biggest threats are the ones with targets on their backs.

Here are a few reasons why you're a target:

  • Strengths (think ethics and competence, technical or people skills, for example) threaten abusers.
  • It's all about the abuser's personality, mob mentality the abuser created, and organizational incentives to keep the abuse going.
  • Abusers might perceive a vulnerability in you. Maybe you're not political. But vulnerability is a strength, not weakness. Narcissists are terrified of vulnerability. And while a certain level of political game-playing may be necessary at work, focusing entirely on politics detracts from your greater purpose at work: to work together toward a common vision as a team.

The bottom line

Narcissists view work differently than you do because...

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