Today's the final day! The first presentation of the last day of the Re-Define Virtual Summit kicks off in 2 hours, and I can’t wait!
Today we're going to learn about:
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You struggle to get out of bed in the morning. You go through the motions just to make it through the day.
You wonder, “Does it get better?”
You used to have hope for work and life in general, but you now wonder how you’ll get back to the old you who used to laugh and feel excited. Now you feel stuck in bitterness, anger, numbness, or depression — losing faith in employers and the system that protects them.
I’ve been there. We’ve all been there.
I see so many targets in the same place. I festered in a state of bitterness wondering when I’d stop ruminating. It would begin as soon as I woke up. Day after day.
That is, until I learned the 3 mistakes I was making that kept me stuck.
When we want the organization we work for to do well — and we’re taught to self-reflect and respect authority — internalizing blame and shame becomes too easy to do. But bullies push their own insecurities and...
While it may feel impossible to get back up emotionally and mentally, you deserve your attention in rising again and giving life a big HECK yes. Here’s how you can get there:
Know you’re not the problem
I want you for a minute to replay a toxic scenario at work in your head like a film reel. Watch the tactics the bully uses: what the bully says, how the bully says it, and how it makes you feel.
Now replay the scenario with how you wanted the bully to communicate instead and how you wanted to feel. Were better approaches options? Were better outcomes possible?
You see, once we realize what healthy leadership looks like, we realize the toxic behaviors have nothing to do with us and everything to do with the insecurity and need for power and control from the bully (and the employer enabling this behavior).
Learn skills to put yourself first
Once we’ve been abused at work, we realize just how much our needs matter. We realize that it matters less that others approve of...
When I worked at a large university years ago, I found myself in the crosshairs of the abuser playbook. A higher-up slowly removed a website project from me (the entire reason I took the job) with no communication of poor performance. She tried moving my work onto a grad student, creating a committee to guide my work, and badmouthing me at meetings — all after months of praising my work. When I reported the problem to the head dean, he swept the problem under the rug, insisting that “it would work itself out.” (Huh?)
So the abuser retaliated. She gave me a written warning for not following a procedure — one that didn’t exist.
Not knowing where to turn to make the abuse stop, I went to HR to share my story. But the HR rep only asked how SHE (the bully) must’ve felt that I reported her for mistreatment.
It was then that I realized the whole work culture was toxic.
For weeks, I felt anxious going into work wondering what the next abuse tactic...
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