You struggle to get out of bed in the morning. You go through the motions just to make it through the day. 

You wonder, “Does it get better?”

You used to have hope for work and life in general, but you now wonder how you’ll get back to the old you who used to laugh and feel excited. Now you feel stuck in bitterness, anger, numbness, or depression — losing faith in employers and the system that protects them.

I’ve been there. We’ve all been there.

I see so many targets in the same place. I festered in a state of bitterness wondering when I’d stop ruminating. It would begin as soon as I woke up. Day after day.

That is, until I learned the 3 mistakes I was making that kept me stuck.

1. Believing I was the problem

When we want the organization we work for to do well — and we’re taught to self-reflect and respect authority — internalizing blame and shame becomes too easy to do. But bullies push their own insecurities and...

Abuse at work happens because organizations and governments allow for it — and even reward it. 

Employers set the tone for the work culture from the top down. Without employers giving consequences to abusers, and without governments giving consequences to employers, abusers thrive. They're further enabled by bystanders too fearful to speak up.

Though we live in a culture that likes to blame the victim rather than hold perpetrators accountable, targets of workplace abuse aren't the problem: it's the abusers who lack empathy who are allowed to abuse.

Take Your Dignity Back
If you feel like you’re stuck in a big rut that’s destroying your life, learn how to reverse the damage. 

Right now, you wish you could just tell your bully at work to knock it off, report the problem to management, and show the bully how childish he or she’s behaving. At best, the bully’s sidetracking the goals of the...

So you have a reputation of being a go-to person at work. One who gets things done and gets them done well. One who wants your organization to be great.

But suddenly you look around, and it’s the selfish, incompetent ones clawing their way to the top while you’re stuck reporting to them, making less money than them, and getting bullied by them.

So what’s the deal? How did this illogical power structure become so common?

1. They’re great at maneuvering. They kiss up and kick down, so those who promote them either don’t see the damage they cause or don’t care about the damage they cause, but everyone else does.
2. They’re entitled. When bullies simply take power and feel entitled to dictate, belittle, control, or manipulate targets by calling them “sensitive” or “emotional,” and others believe the dismissal of the targets rather than hold the bullies accountable, bullies get ahead. But...