Today's the day! The first presentation for the Re-Define Virtual Summit kicks off in 2 hours, and I am SO excited!
Today we're going to learn about:
It's all going to be so good!
Have you ever attended an online event where the advice was so general that it was only helpful to those who are new to the topic? (And "helpful" might be putting it strongly.)
I’ve seen my fair share of these, and each one left me frustrated and feeling like I’d wasted my time.
You need more than general advice if you want to recover from abuse at work. Which is exactly why I made a free event JUST for targets like you.
I know as targets we struggle with things like:
Even others who experience trauma don't process the same issues unique to abuse at work. And that's why this free event is just for you.
Over two days, you'll hear from 11 speakers about everything from coping tools to recovery.
And you can get your free ticket!
The summit is completely free to...
While it may feel impossible to get back up emotionally and mentally, you deserve your attention in rising again and giving life a big HECK yes. Here’s how you can get there:
Know you’re not the problem
I want you for a minute to replay a toxic scenario at work in your head like a film reel. Watch the tactics the bully uses: what the bully says, how the bully says it, and how it makes you feel.
Now replay the scenario with how you wanted the bully to communicate instead and how you wanted to feel. Were better approaches options? Were better outcomes possible?
You see, once we realize what healthy leadership looks like, we realize the toxic behaviors have nothing to do with us and everything to do with the insecurity and need for power and control from the bully (and the employer enabling this behavior).
Learn skills to put yourself first
Once we’ve been abused at work, we realize just how much our needs matter. We realize that it matters less that others approve of...
Once we learn that the nightmare at work is called “workplace abuse” or “workplace bullying,” we often feel relieved it’s a thing (and not us).
But then what? How do we navigate the landmines so the problem — and our health — doesn’t get worse? And once we’re out of the toxic mess, how do we heal? How do we trust again, feel ourselves again, and laugh again so we can live the lives we deserve?
After my own journey and research, I’ve realized how much I love helping targets of abuse at work take their lives back.
And this time, I have 10 experts with me. I'm so excited to bring this free 2-day event to you.
The Dignity At Work Act is about granting our fundamental human right to dignity at work. Workplace abuse (or workplace bullying) often involves a person in power, such as a manager or supervisor, taking advantage of a less powerful employee.
Abuse of power is too often a symptom of implicit bias — a problem discrimination law stopped helping since the 1980s when courts moved from focusing on impact to intent. Intent is a high threshold that makes the law mostly ineffective at addressing bias and disrupting hierarchies at work that create haves and have-nots when those in power “other” people. More than 50 years after Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, white men still occupy the vast majority of power positions in the U.S. workforce.
Abuse may take the form of:
Interpersonal abuse like public ridicule, disrespect, overwork, and overcontrol, including put-downs, screaming, excessive criticism, destructive gossip, false...
The late Congressman John Lewis talked about the importance of saying and doing something when you see something that's not right — getting into good trouble. “I fought too long and too hard against discrimination based on race and color not to fight against discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity,” he said. “He (President Obama) is sending a powerful message that discrimination in any form has no place in a democratic society. It also gives hope to the 9 million LBGT Americans and their loved ones who have had to bear the pain and sorrow of rejection, loss, and shame with limited means to make their voices heard.”
In 2007, a healthcare organization hired me as a military medical insurance analyst, a position I would stay in for 12 years. (I had the same position for 20 years in a different healthcare organization.) For those 12 years, I received excellent job evaluations year after year from my previous...
Through their in-depth American Working Conditions Survey (AWCS) of 3,066 U.S. workers, Rand Corp., Harvard Medical School, and the University of California, Los Angeles found that "the American workplace is very physically and emotionally taxing," CBS reports.
Before you say "I could've told you that," let's see how bad it really is:
Workplace abuse results in mental, physical, social, and financial harm.
Abuse is violence. It's psychological torture that takes a toll on mental health, including self-esteem, self-worth, and resilience. The longer the abuse, the bigger the impact, leading to physical symptoms.
Stress is a natural response to abuse and manifests itself through the mind-body connection. It may cloud judgment and lead to such issues as anxiety, depression, heart disease, digestive issues, post-traumatic stress disorder, and suicidal ideation.
We're built for connection with each other, but abuse removes that connection by isolating us. Isolation is especially common with mobbing, group abuse aimed to break down the target when abusers manipulate other employees or other employees fear becoming the next target. Bystanders may also suffer when they witness abuse but feel unable to help the target. Friends and family, including spouses, generally tire of...
Graham Gentles was driven to suicide after a walk of shame.
He was a 22-year-old in Pasadena who died from suicide on July 18, 2014, after Target store management allegedly accused him of stealing, handcuffed him, and paraded him through the store in front of both customers and coworkers.
Gentles jumped to his death from the top of a hotel just three days later.
During the abusive humiliation and shame tactic, it is alleged that "police forcefully grabbed him, emptied his pockets, and pulled his hat off," explains ABC7. Meanwhile, a shocked and confused Gentles had no idea why police were arresting him. Police took Gentles into custody, released him the same day, and never charged him. Gentles told his mother he never stole anything.
Allegedly, an argument between Gentles and a coworker at a bar outside of work hours may have prompted the incident. The coworker made the allegations of theft after the argument.
Workplace abuse leads to decreased productivity, lower morale, increased absenteeism, and turnover (the bad kind — not the kind that results from not needing roles anymore). Imagine burning a big old pile of money. That's the equivalent of keeping an abuser on staff. Let's look at some of the hidden and not-so-hidden costs of keeping an abuser on staff:
Turnover. Examples: announcing the job opening, recruiting fees, interviewing time, and training time.
Lost opportunity. Examples: losing clients and the revenue associated with them and losing potential accounts from the work of competent employees.
Absenteeism. Cost: paid time off (sick leave and vacation)
Presenteeism (being at work but disengaged while there). Cost: lost productivity from that employee and any employee disengagement rubs off on.
Legal defense. Regardless of there not being laws with teeth on the books protecting targets from workplace abuse, targets can still sue. And...
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