There are many ways a person can be mistreated at work. Usually the mistreatment is said to stem from envy due to an individual's competency. The sad fact is research shows that legally, victims lack support and lose their jobs, while abusers retain their positions and continue abusing others. Lives are affected, and mental health and relationships suffer. Even sadder still, lives are lost through the pain and suffering caused by people who feel insecure and determined to ruin the lives of others, to make themselves feel better.
I feel, as many do, this problem cannot continue.
I sit here now having recently left my problematic position within the last two months. I realize that I need to stop being invisible and I need to stand with — and up for — the many who share my experiences of abuse in the workplace. I would like to share my experiences with you, and we can share small smiles of comfort and validation. Then we can roar and fight to be heard and...
I relocated 1,100 miles for what I thought would be a dream opportunity. I quickly discovered that the small program I was in had been led by a recently departed program director who was abusive toward the remaining faculty member — while the dean disregarded her requests for help. This dean retired at the request of the university shortly before my arrival but came back to the school as an instructor. The recently departed program director left because her students had finally turned her in to student services, so her poor behavior could no longer be ignored; she was demoted, and she responded by finding work at another academic institution. However, she retained a small adjunct position at another school within the university and continues to be on the university's payroll to this day despite her history within the university itself.
In the meantime, the abused faculty member became the new program director. She was as abusive to me as her predecessor had been to her....
Today's the final day! The first presentation of the last day of the Re-Define Virtual Summit kicks off in 2 hours, and I can’t wait!
Today we're going to learn about:
If you missed part of the summit, you can still grab the VIP All-Access Pass for lifetime access to presentations and slide decks plus an exclusive Facebook community for ongoing support or the Power Pack for all of that plus bonuses to help you get into action right away.
Have you ever attended an online event where the advice was so general that it was only helpful to those who are new to the topic? (And "helpful" might be putting it strongly.)
I’ve seen my fair share of these, and each one left me frustrated and feeling like I’d wasted my time.
You need more than general advice if you want to recover from abuse at work. Which is exactly why I made a free event JUST for targets like you.
I know as targets we struggle with things like:
Even others who experience trauma don't process the same issues unique to abuse at work. And that's why this free event is just for you.
Over two days, you'll hear from 11 speakers about everything from coping tools to recovery.
And you can get your free ticket!
The summit is completely free to...
While it may feel impossible to get back up emotionally and mentally, you deserve your attention in rising again and giving life a big HECK yes. Here’s how you can get there:
Know you’re not the problem
I want you for a minute to replay a toxic scenario at work in your head like a film reel. Watch the tactics the bully uses: what the bully says, how the bully says it, and how it makes you feel.
Now replay the scenario with how you wanted the bully to communicate instead and how you wanted to feel. Were better approaches options? Were better outcomes possible?
You see, once we realize what healthy leadership looks like, we realize the toxic behaviors have nothing to do with us and everything to do with the insecurity and need for power and control from the bully (and the employer enabling this behavior).
Learn skills to put yourself first
Once we’ve been abused at work, we realize just how much our needs matter. We realize that it matters less that others approve of...
On Facebook, we’ve seen some people who’ve never been abused at work (or more likely who are abusers themselves or aren’t vulnerable and emotionally tough enough to admit they’ve been abused) tell targets of workplace abuse to “just leave” their jobs if they don’t like them.
I ask those people: if you were to “just leave” your job today, what would be the consequences? For many, it's loss of income and the health insurance that goes with it.
For others, it's about damaging personal pride, the injustice of it all, and loving their jobs. That awareness, level of integrity, and self-defense are motivated by strength, not weakness, and a building block for a social movement to end workplace abuse.
“Just quitting” versus find another job
You might think this idea of sticking around is in direct opposition to my usual advice to targets of workplace abuse: leave since your health comes first and...
I work for a Massachusetts city in the capacity of a senior clerk and typist. I began my time with them completely and utterly oblivious that these types of workplaces existed.
I began my time working for an amazing asst. superintendent who is no longer with the district. I began as an office clerk. In our office, there was an administrative assistant and two other administrators under the asst. superintendent. I came into the roles as a team player, hard worker, and willing to go the extra mile. I was there for six months and was looking for a move into a senior clerk and typist position within the district due to low wages of the office clerk position. The asst. superintendent saw my worth and kept me on in her office as a senior clerk. The administrative assistant was a senior clerk at one time — those positions are made for people who are politically connected in our city. Her husband was a city councilman.
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