Over the years, I’ve read a lot about the tactics workplace abusers use to build power. But it’s my personal experience with abusers who show narcissistic traits where I’ve observed even more specific patterns, which led me to my #1 way to cope with them.

First: the patterns

• They establish a rank and position themselves at the top. If they don’t already have power over you as your boss, they find a way to create a hierarchy and frequently remind you of it. They try to convince you (and others) that they’re in fact better than you in some crucial way: they’re more knowledgeable or more enlightened, for example. They may simply dictate to you and hope you accept the hierarchy. They may get on their soapboxes and hope you’ll be their audience because they crave attention. Contrast this behavior with what healthy people do: collaborate, share power, and otherwise flatten hierarchies as much as possible. (In workplaces specifically, author...