Hi! I'm Deb.
I transform workers
into inspired, powerful CEOs of their lives
after abuse at work.

Workplace abuse is abuse of power —
and it ruins lives

Abuse at work is all about power and control.

When a manager abuses power over a less powerful employee and puts their ego over the organization, we call that workplace abuse or workplace bullying. It takes the form of lies and exclusion and often escalates to mobbing as higher-ups and co-workers follow the abuser's narrative to push the target out. Most abuse — generally rooted in the one with power feeling threatened by a competent, ethical subordinate — involves undermining confidence and performance by isolating and putting the target down. False accusations. Gossip. Exclusion. Belittling. Ignoring. Sabotage.

It often leads to psychological injury and a host of stress-related symptoms including anxiety, depression, PTSD, and even death.

We suffer. We become overwhelmed with navigating the situation and experience re-trauma and betrayal when our employers and government fail to hold the abusers accountable. Our dignity, our trust, and our mental, emotional, and financial health fall under attack. Our complicit employer robs us of our personhood.

It's an epidemic.

Given that white men still occupy the majority of power positions in the U.S. workforce more than 50 years after Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, workplace abuse has a discriminatory impact on non-white and women workers when abusers reinforce negative stereotypes off the positively stereotyped, white male norm.

 

Whether you're in a toxic work environment or out of one waiting for the pain to go away, you feel stuck — when you simply want to move forward.

 

Maybe you’re currently in a toxic work environment wondering,
“what can I do to stop this maddening injustice?”

No matter what you do to fix the situation, there’s a giant target on your back. You go into work every day wondering what the next nightmare will be. Lying about you? Ignoring you? Taking away responsibilities? Gossiping about you?

Meanwhile, the more you try to fix it, the worse it gets. You’re sick to your stomach and stressed out. You’re consumed with:

  • Figuring out how you can change to make the abuser happy (and realizing NOTHING is ever good enough — no matter how above and beyond you go)
  • Wondering about what the abuser's saying behind your back (co-workers are keeping their distance from you, but you have no idea what to refute)
  • Ruminating about what you could’ve done differently to avoid the nonsense or to fight back (the scenarios seem endless, but you want to find the perfect one)
  • Wondering if what the abuser says about you is true (you know it’s not, but you’re confused why people are starting to believe what they say)
  • Bouncing from figuring out how to confront the abuser to whether or not to speak up to HR or a higher-up to deciding if and when to leave — and never landing on a solution that feels right
  • Believing you’re just one move away from the organization stepping in and holding the abuser accountable once and for all (but what will that move be?)
  • Justifying to people in your life that it’s NOT you by filling in every detail as evidence
  • Worrying about what other health issues will crop up the longer you stay in the nightmare

You focus on how on earth you’ll muster the energy to get up tomorrow to go to work and dodge the landmines. You spend every minute of your commute into work DREADING dealing with the abuser and the co-workers who believe them. You hold back tears. You feel nauseous.

Forget trying to grow in your career. Forget having a plan. You’re just trying to make it through the day.

Or maybe you’re out of the toxic workplace but still wondering,
“when will this pain end?”

No matter what you do to move on with your life, you’re stuck in the motions. Wake up. Feel numb and bitter. Make it through the day. Repeat.

You can’t stop ruminating about the “what ifs,” blaming yourself for what happened, and feeling angry about everything you lost.

Meanwhile, the more you try to fix it, the more you feel frustrated with yourself for not conquering the pain. You’re consumed with:

  • The hopelessness. The anger. The hurt. The abandonment. The betrayal not just by an abuser but by an employer you thought would do the right thing and a government you thought would be on right side of humanity.
  • Wondering how you’ll ever trust again, how you’ll get your career back, and how you’ll feel part of the world again
  • Feeling like a burden or annoyance or plain not good enough
  • Thinking about how you can feel recovered from a situation with no justice
  • Worrying about what other health issues will crop up now that you’re still stressed out about a situation you’re no longer in

You wonder how you’ll get the confidence to look for another job, interview, and avoid another nightmare work situation. You need some kind of break — anything — but the pain lingers.

Either way, it’s BEYOND exhausting.

You wish you knew what’s worked for others who’ve healed from workplace abuse so you can finally move forward.

What you really want is to stand in your personal power and
put the wheels in motion to…

  • Get yourself where YOU want to be: killing it on a collaborative winning team you love, heading up your own business you’re passionate about, taking a break in a survival job to re-charge — whatever serves your soul
  • Know the truth behind what’s going on
  • Have a solid grasp on what you deserve
  • Use tools to understand and communicate your needs — because you’re the only part of the equation you can control
  • Get in an energizing work environment (where you can’t wait to get started on your work every morning) or focused on a different priority (YOU decide)
  • Feel in control of your life again (confident even on a bad day)
  • Know your values and purpose and sync them with all aspects of your life


And all of THAT means embracing YOU: feeling seen, knowing you matter, embracing the fun, and living life on YOUR terms.

I’m talking giving life a big HECK YES. (Laughing again, here you come.)

The goal is to take a big step to understanding how to now define yourself according to YOUR values.

It’s time to make it happen so you can move forward and become the CEO of Your Life.

 

Connection is the antidote to trauma

Abuse at work is isolating and harmful to our well-being.
But we can detach from it and heal when we connect with those who get it.
No more explaining, justifying, and struggling to feel heard. 

Courses

Workplace stress is the fifth leading cause of death in the U.S. (that's right — FIFTH) according to Stanford's Jeffrey Pfeffer. To help you cope with the stress of workplace abuse, I run TWO bootcamps: one for those currently dealing with abuse at work and the other for those healing from it.

Learn more

Events

Targets of abuse at work report feeling energized and relieved after my Re-Define events. Connect and learn in virtual and in-person summits and weekend-long retreats so you can better understand the workplace abuse playbook, detach from it, and know there's hope in the aftermath.

Learn more

Coaching

I will help you explore your emotions, clarify your values, weigh your options, reduce stress and anxiety, set boundaries, work through fears, doubts, and insecurities, determine your next steps, create a plan for re-defining your life, and bring back joy so you can live your best life.

Learn more

Grab the FREE
Re-Claim Your Power
After Abuse At Work Roadmap

Download it now

"If you're experiencing, have experienced, or just want to learn more about workplace abuse, this is the course to take. The online modules will walk you through the experience of workplace abuse, explaining why it happens, options for best ways to handle it, and how to take care of yourself in the process. The information provided is insightful, full of resources, and easy to understand. Another benefit to this unique program are the live chats. The ability to share your thoughts and discuss the program was one of my favorite parts."


"The course gave me effective solutions that I wished that I knew about when I was going through my workplace bullying experience. I would’ve made different choices."


"I have studied this phenomenon for over a year, and this course added so much more to my knowledge base. I highly recommend this course to anyone working in an organization. My only wish is that I would have taken the class sooner. Deb is a true expert in this field and in her, you will find a safe and welcoming place to TAKE BACK YOUR POWER!"


"I love, LOVE this course!"


"My biggest take away was knowing that I'm not alone in this horrible experience with an unhealthy workplace. Unhealthy environments are ruining lives and increasing suicide."


Mini-Courses

Feeling stuck? Learn from experts:

Bullying at Work:
4 Red Flags To Look Out For

When we miss the red flags that a boss or co-worker is high conflict, we may find ourselves in a downward spiral of loss: health, finances, relationships, confidence, self-worth, trust, hope, and more.

But it's never too late to see a toxic work situation with more clarity and take action to change course. Join me with Susan Forster, an expert in workplace communication, leadership, and cultural change, as we reveal the four red flags of bullying at work — and tools we can use to address the bullying.

Grab the course

Move On and
Find Work You Love

As you encounter days you want to forget and frustration you’re dying to finally move beyond, your longing for something different is growing, and so is your motivation to change.

This longing and motivation is key to where you're headed in life. Aligning with our true desires gives us courage. It brings us in touch with what feels right for us, making it easier to see opportunities and act on them. Learn to let yourself want more, connect to your vision, get strong, and sustain your power with career coach Julie Boyer.

Grab the course

3 Practices To Build Emotional Resilience

Learn evidence-based positive psychology strategies for building emotional resilience.

In part one, Positive EQ's Kirsti Gwynn begins with a look at what the research says about what resilience is, why it’s important, and whether it can be developed. Then in the following three parts, you’ll learn how to think differently about challenging experiences, relieve and process stress, and develop self-trust — what you may have lost while abused at work. The goal: unlock inner strength moving forward.

Grab the course

Dignity at work is
your fundamental right

I believe all employees deserve dignity and respect at work for well-being. I help employees define themselves according to their own values and teach their employers how to get results by focusing on employees' power.

I built a base of more than 10,000 workplace anti-bullying legislation supporters, the largest by state in the nation. I've helped hundreds of abused employees understand their abuse situations, discover their self-worth, and learn how to move on from their toxic work cultures. I've been quoted in numerous media outlets including Redbook, Forbes, Monster, Alternet, Elephant Journal, Thrive Global, and Truthout.

I host the "Screw the Hierarchy" podcast.

Email me at [email protected].

Here's to defining ourselves on our own terms.

— Deb Falzoi

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