Hi! I'm Deb.
I transform workers who feel stuck in a toxic work culture or healing from one into inspired, powerful CEOs
of their lives.
Abuse at work is about power and control
Workplace bullying and mobbing are forms of psychological abuse. They create toxic work cultures and dehumanize us by violating our inherent human right to dignity.
Gossip and lies. Exclusion. Job and career sabotage. Intimidating, threatening, and demeaning behaviors.
For toxic managers, co-workers, and employers, it's all about reinforcing power structures by supporting false narratives against us and then avoiding employer liability — even when our employers claim to value safe workplaces.
But abuse is never ok.
What's even worse: while you may feel isolated, millions of others experience this abuse of power. It's an epidemic, which also makes it a public health threat.
Why? Because it's often a symptom of stereotyping and implicit bias. It has a discriminatory impact on women, Black workers. Hispanic workers, workers in the LGBTQ+ community, workers over 40, and workers with disabilities. Anti-discrimination law stopped working since the ‘80s when courts moved from focusing on impact to intent, a high threshold that makes the law an epic failure.
The employer say it's ok when they join in through more abuse or negligence in fixing the problem. When the government says this issue isn't important enough to regulate it like they do physical safety, it's yet another layer of betrayal.
We deserve to feel seen, heard, and valued. We deserve job control and a sense of belonging.
But workplace abuse pushes up against our need to feel human and robs us of our personhood.
We feel stuck in the trauma when we simply want to move forward.
Are you currently IN a toxic work environment wondering,
“what can I do to stop this maddening injustice?”
No matter what you do to fix the situation, there’s a giant target on your back. You go into work every day wondering what the next nightmare will be. Lying about you? Ignoring you? Taking away responsibilities?
Meanwhile, the more you try to fix it, the worse it gets. You’re sick to your stomach and stressed out. You’re consumed with:
- Figuring out how you can change to make the abuser happy (and realizing NOTHING is ever good enough — no matter how above and beyond you go)
- Wondering about what the abuser's saying behind your back (co-workers keep their distance from you, but you have no idea what to refute)
- Ruminating about what you could’ve done differently to avoid the nonsense or to fight back (the scenarios seem endless, but you want to find clarity)
- Wondering if what the abuser says about you is true (you know it’s not but are angry that people believe them and begin to question yourself)
- Bouncing from figuring out how to confront the abuser to whether or not to speak up to HR or a higher-up to deciding if and when to leave — and never landing on a solution that feels right
You focus on how on earth you’ll muster the energy to get up tomorrow to go to dodge the landmines. You spend every minute of your commute into work DREADING dealing with the abuser and the co-workers who believe them. You hold back tears. You feel nauseous.
Forget trying to grow in your career. Forget having a plan. You’re just trying to make it through the day.
Or are are you OUT of the toxic workplace but still wondering,
“when will this pain end?”
No matter what you do to move on with your life, you’re stuck in the motions. Wake up. Feel numb and bitter. Make it through the day. Repeat.
You can’t stop ruminating about the “what ifs,” blaming yourself for what happened and feeling angry about everything you lost.
Meanwhile, the more you try to fix it, the more you feel frustrated with yourself for not conquering the pain. You’re consumed with:
- The hopelessness. The anger. The hurt. The abandonment. The betrayal not just by an abuser but by an employer you thought would do the right thing and a government you thought would be on right side of humanity.
- Wondering how you’ll ever trust again, how you’ll get your career back, and how you’ll feel part of the world again
- Thinking about how you can feel recovered from a situation with no justice
- Worrying about what other health issues will crop up now that you’re still stressed out about a situation you’re no longer in
You wonder how you’ll get the confidence to look for another job, interview, and avoid another nightmare work situation. You need some kind of break — anything — but the pain lingers.
What you really want
is to stand in your personal power
You want to put the wheels in motion to…
- Get yourself where YOU want to be: killing it on a collaborative winning team you love, heading up your own business you’re passionate about, taking a break in a survival job to re-charge — whatever serves your soul
- Know the truth behind what’s going on
- Have a solid grasp on what you deserve
- Use tools to understand and communicate your needs — because you’re the only part of the equation you can control
- Feel in control of your life again (even on a bad day)
- Know your values and purpose and sync them with all aspects of your life
And all of THAT means embracing YOU: feeling seen, knowing you matter, embracing the fun, and living life on YOUR terms.
I’m talking giving life a big HECK YES. (Laughing again, here you come.)
The goal is to take a big step to understanding how to now define yourself according to YOUR values.
It’s time to make it happen so you can move forward and become the CEO of Your Life.
Connection is the antidote to trauma
Abuse at work is isolating and harmful to our well-being.
But we can detach from it and heal when we connect with those who get it.
No more explaining, justifying, and struggling to feel heard.
1:1 Coaching
As a work healing coach and certified life coach, I will help you explore your emotions, clarify your values, weigh your options, reduce stress, set boundaries, work through fears, determine your next steps, create a plan for re-defining your life, and help you live your best life.
Group Coaching
Workplace stress is the FIFTH leading cause of death in the U.S.. To help you cope with the stress of workplace abuse, connect with other targets who get it to better understand the playbook so you can detach from the abuser and employer's incompetence and move forward.
Events
Targets report feeling energized and relieved after my Re-Define events. Connect and learn in virtual and in-person summits and weekend-long retreats so you can better understand the workplace abuse playbook, detach from it, and know there's hope in the aftermath.
"If you're experiencing, have experienced, or just want to learn more about workplace abuse, this is the course to take. The online modules will walk you through the experience of workplace abuse, explaining why it happens, options for best ways to handle it, and how to take care of yourself in the process. The information provided is insightful, full of resources, and easy to understand. Another benefit to this unique program are the live chats. The ability to share your thoughts and discuss the program was one of my favorite parts."
"The course gave me effective solutions that I wished that I knew about when I was going through my workplace bullying experience. I would’ve made different choices."
"I have studied this phenomenon for over a year, and this course added so much more to my knowledge base. I highly recommend this course to anyone working in an organization. My only wish is that I would have taken the class sooner. Deb is a true expert in this field and in her, you will find a safe and welcoming place to TAKE BACK YOUR POWER!"
"I love, LOVE this course!"
"My biggest take away was knowing that I'm not alone in this horrible experience with an unhealthy workplace. Unhealthy environments are ruining lives and increasing suicide."
Dignity at work is
your fundamental right
I believe all employees deserve dignity and respect at work for well-being. I help employees define themselves according to their own values and teach their employers how to get results by focusing on employees' power.
I built a base of more than 10,000 workplace anti-bullying legislation supporters. I've helped hundreds of abused employees understand their abuse situations, discover their self-worth, and learn how to move on from their toxic work cultures. I've been quoted in numerous media outlets including Redbook, Forbes, Monster, and Truthout.
I host the "Screw the Hierarchy" podcast, founded End Workplace Abuse, and co-authored the Workplace Psychological Safety Act.
Email me at [email protected].
Here's to defining ourselves on our own terms.
— Deb Falzoi
"Screw the Hierarchy" Podcast Episodes
Catch popular episodes.
