Abuse at work is all about power and control.

When a manager abuses power over a less powerful employee and puts their ego over the organization, we call that workplace abuse or workplace bullying. It takes the form of lies and exclusion and often escalates to mobbing as higher-ups and co-workers follow the abuser's narrative to push the target out. Most abuse — generally rooted in the one with power feeling threatened by a competent, ethical subordinate — involves undermining confidence and performance by isolating and putting the target down. False accusations. Gossip. Exclusion. Belittling. Ignoring. Sabotage.

It often leads to psychological injury and a host of stress-related symptoms including anxiety, depression, PTSD, and even death.

We suffer. We become overwhelmed with navigating the situation and experience re-trauma and betrayal when our employers and government fail to hold the abusers accountable. Our dignity, our trust, and our mental, emotional, and financial health fall under attack. Our complicit employer robs us of our personhood.

It's an epidemic.

Given that white men still occupy the majority of power positions in the U.S. workforce more than 50 years after Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, workplace abuse has a discriminatory impact on non-white and women workers when abusers reinforce negative stereotypes off the positively stereotyped, white male norm.

Whether you're in a toxic work environment or out of one waiting for the pain to go away, you feel stuck — when you simply want to move forward.

Maybe you’re currently in a toxic work environment wondering,
“what can I do to stop this maddening injustice?”

No matter what you do to fix the situation, there’s a giant target on your back. You go into work every day wondering what the next nightmare will be. Lying about you? Ignoring you? Taking away responsibilities? Gossiping about you?

Meanwhile, the more you try to fix it, the worse it gets. You’re sick to your stomach and stressed out. You’re consumed with:

• Figuring out how you can change to make the abuser happy (and realizing NOTHING is ever good enough — no matter how above and beyond you go)
• Wondering about what the abuser's saying behind your back (co-workers are keeping their distance from you, but you have no idea what to refute)
• Ruminating about what you could’ve done differently to avoid the nonsense or to fight back (the scenarios seem endless, but you want to find the perfect one)
• Wondering if what the abuser says about you is true (you know it’s not, but you’re confused why people are starting to believe what they say)
• Bouncing from figuring out how to confront the abuser to whether or not to speak up to HR or a higher-up to deciding if and when to leave — and never landing on a solution that feels right
• Believing you’re just one move away from the organization stepping in and holding the abuser accountable once and for all (but what will that move be?)
• Justifying to people in your life that it’s NOT you by filling in every detail as evidence
• Worrying about what other health issues will crop up the longer you stay in the nightmare

You focus on how on earth you’ll muster the energy to get up tomorrow to go to work and dodge the landmines. You spend every minute of your commute into work DREADING dealing with the abuser and the co-workers who believe them. You hold back tears. You feel nauseous.

Forget trying to grow in your career. Forget having a plan. You’re just trying to make it through the day.

Or maybe you’re out of the toxic workplace but still wondering,
“when will this pain end?”

No matter what you do to move on with your life, you’re stuck in the motions. Wake up. Feel numb and bitter. Make it through the day. Repeat.

You can’t stop ruminating about the “what ifs,” blaming yourself for what happened, and feeling angry about everything you lost.

Meanwhile, the more you try to fix it, the more you feel frustrated with yourself for not conquering the pain. You’re consumed with:

• The hopelessness. The anger. The hurt. The abandonment. The betrayal not just by an abuser but by an employer you thought would do the right thing and a government you thought would be on right side of humanity.
• Wondering how you’ll ever trust again, how you’ll get your career back, and how you’ll feel part of the world again
• Feeling like a burden or annoyance or plain not good enough
• Thinking about how you can feel recovered from a situation with no justice
• Worrying about what other health issues will crop up now that you’re still stressed out about a situation you’re no longer in

You wonder how you’ll get the confidence to look for another job, interview, and avoid another nightmare work situation. You need some kind of break — anything — but the pain lingers.

Either way, it’s BEYOND exhausting.

You wish you knew what’s worked for others who’ve healed from workplace abuse so you can finally move forward.

What you really want is to stand in your personal power and
put the wheels in motion to…

• Get yourself where YOU want to be: killing it on a collaborative winning team you love, heading up your own business you’re passionate about, taking a break in a survival job to re-charge — whatever serves your soul
• Know the truth behind what’s going on
• Have a solid grasp on what you deserve
• Use tools to understand and communicate your needs — because you’re the only part of the equation you can control
• Get in an energizing work environment (where you can’t wait to get started on your work every morning) or focused on a different priority (YOU decide)
• Feel in control of your life again (confident even on a bad day)
• Know your values and purpose and sync them with all aspects of your life

And all of THAT means embracing YOU: feeling seen, knowing you matter, embracing the fun, and living life on YOUR terms.

I’m talking giving life a big HECK YES. (Laughing again, here you come.)

The goal is to take a big step to understanding how to now define yourself according to YOUR values.

It’s time to make it happen so you can move forward and become the CEO of Your Life.